Everybody Else

Have you ever just had enough? Everyone asking you to do this and do that for them? You just don't have the heart to say NO. I absolutely am one of those people that can never say NO. I have ran myself down so hard that I have made myself physically sick. I really need to learn to tell my loved ones NO and just live with that decision. Because I know that even if they are upset for even just a moment they will be ok. I won't be totally disowned or something. It's stupid things even. My family think that because I am a stay at home mom that I have time to do their errands along with everything I have to do for my family! Which that is not true I run all the time because I have three very busy boys, two of which are teenagers. The youngest is in minors for baseball. That alone is three nights a week. The weekends is the only time we actually get to see each other all at once. And that is on a very rare occasion. My husband works all the stinkin time so that leaves me at home with the boys and everything else. And everyone else's stuff to do. I hate not being able to leave whenever we want to because I have something going on with some family member. I actually have to schedule everything into my calendar on my phone so I don't forget anything. And even then that doesn't always work. Then I am in big trouble because I have totally spaced someone out. Well I definitely feel better today. Later

IM SOO SICK

Ugh! I cannot believe how bad I feel today! I have all this upper respiratory stuff going on. I breathe in, I wheeze. I breathe out, i wheeze. For those of you who don't know me I have a bad history of lung issues. Mostly just being sick. I had a real scare last spring, the doctors told me I had a form of COPD. I am way too young for that crap!!! Still I was diagnosed with Asthma. I have scar tissue in my lungs from all the times I have had pneumonia, brochitis or whatever crazy thing you can come up with. Even if I get a sinus infection it goes straight to the lungs! BAM I am hacking and wheezin! This time it's hitting me hard. I have a fever and I really can't breath. It just makes me think that I am totally going to get lung cancer. In my family history it's very likely and very possible. Two very important women in my life have had lung cancer. One of which my grandmother, my heart and soul. She fought a very hard battle at the age of 73. She had half of her lung removed and fought with everything she had until the day we all said see ya later. Right now my aunt whom I love very much and who has been there for me is in her second fight. Her first fight, she fought with literally everything she had. We all almost her 13 yrs ago. She had breast cancer and cancer in her lymphnodes. She conquered and prevailed. Then on Christmas in 2007 she was hit with the worst news ever. Again she has cancer. This time she is stage 4 and terminal. It has attacked her left lung and part of her ribs. Although she still fights she is losing her fight. She looks great everyday but I can never tell if she feels good or if she hurts or if she just keeps the faith and the hope. I love her dearly and can't stand to see her go through all this again. Without treatment she is holding her head high. Guess I got a little off track. But if I am going to just sit here and type away this is what you get. Complete and utter nonsense. So anyway I still feel horrible. still wheezing and scared to death that one day I am going to have lung cancer some time in my life. In a round about way you start to understand the reason I write the way I do! So have a good one and come back y'all!

Suckered :)

Ok I have this friend, I actually nicknamed her "Friend" years ago. We got to chatting on facebook.com. Which is actually very cool because it has been way too long since I have last talked to her. As we are chatting she tells me that she has some great pictures of her family on this website. She gives me the website and low and behold it's a blogger site. WooHoo! I am so excited because I love to blog and tell stories and just get out of my head whatever is in there. I hope that this will help me from spinning all the time and keep the frustration out and let the happiness and joy flow to othersl Read, Enjoy and always be happy!