Trials and Tribulations of Jessie

I have a 13 year old son, Jessie, he is an amazing young man. He has had a pretty rough start. He is many things...loving, mean, caring, beautiful, vulgar, peaceful, violent, most of all my son. I guess I should give some explanation to the words I used to describe my son. I say good and bad things about him, because that is really what he is all about. Jessie has been diagnosed with everything under the sun and moon. Since he was born he has always had a problem with life, is how I want to say it. Of course he was a beautiful baby, but he didn't bond with me. If I walked in the room where he was he would scream! No Joke! He did that until he was about 6 months old. Then he was attached to me like glue, I couldn't get rid of him not even for 10 minutes. The so called specialists call this "reactive disassociative disorder". That is the first diagnosis. As he gets a little older he learns how to walk and talk and be cute, but we notice that he is clumsy and a little more hyper than most kids or he has little mood swings at the age of 3 yrs. He went with his dad on a little trip downtown and when they got back Larry literally threw him in my lap and said, "you better do something with this kid before I hurt him!" As he continues to tell me what had happened I become appalled and worried because our 3 yr old just spit in his dad's face and told him to f-off! I immediately called the pediatrician and made an appointment and because Jessie was so young all they could do was put him on Ritalin and say good luck with that. Jessie started pre-school at the CDC here and they came up with something else for my young child. He now also has Sensory Intergration Disorder along with the first diag. and the ADHD. The SID was the most interesting one. His little body was being overloaded by his senses because they were working overtime. Like a baby does when they are learning so fast in the first few months of their lives. All of his 5 senses work double time. Not like you or I. If we go to the store or somewhere there are alot of people or things going on I have to give him a sucker or piece of gum so just his sense of taste is working and the others are at bay for a while. As the years move on Jessie is functioning ok. He is taking his Ritalin but for some reason he is acting out more and more the older he gets. One day when he was about 9 yrs old he absolutely abused his older brother my son Tieler. I was so upset, I didn't know where or what to do. I just knew that Jessie needed help beyond what I could continue to give him. I immediately drove over to DFS and reported him to their office as an abuse charge. The case worker was a wonderful man. He totally understood that Jessie absolutely needed help and Wyoming did not have a facility for such a young kid at the time, not even the Youth Home. I relunctantly took him home and within 15 min. I received a phone call from DFS case worker and he told me that as soon as we left a gentleman showed up and told him about a wonderful place in Montana that would take Jessie for observation and evalution. I was estatic. We packed him up and went to Montana. He spent 3 months in their facility. They gave him many diagnoses...bi-polar w/psychotic features, ADHD and everything I had already mentioned. He also came home with his very own pharmacy. That part really worried me. The meds were ridiculous. Since that time he has been in WBI, Casper and many medications twice. I took it upon myself to take him to a local psych and we did a med break when he was 11 1/2 yrs. He went almost 4 months with no meds, even started school with no meds and teachers didnt know. Then his attitude and moods started again and another diagnosis "Seasonal Effective Disorder" it affects him every 6 months. He doesn't get enough UVA and it makes him depressed. In all actuality it's a fancy name for "cabin fever". Since the med break he has done some pretty amazing things, and I am not talking positively. We finally got him on some light medication and it seemed to be working until he went to Junior High. He has ended up in the local Youth Home for one month and sent to court for two counts of disorderly conduct...throwing chairs, threating teachers, cussing, running from class. Also one count of Battery for kicking another child in the leg. His consequence was one year of supervised probation. He has so far completed 5 months. At school the teachers are soooo tired, they do not even write him up anymore because it's just not worth it to them. A week before school was out on the 21st on May he was in big trouble at school again and I had to go retrieve him. Well his probation officer was there, the school officer, and his ADAPS teacher was all present. They had decided that it was time to pull probation and place him in the Youth Home again. Also he has to go to court and explain to the judge why he didn't follow the rules. Since he has been in the Youth Home he been on what they call "sub-system" it's like being grounded. So 10 days of that already and that needs an explanation too. He also has 2 failing grades which is another violation. I just keep thinking when is it ever going to end and is my son ever going to act sociably acceptable? I love the way he smiles, the way he gives his loving hugs. He has the best laugh and the cutest jokes. His eyes you could get lost in forever. His court date is soon, and we might lose him for a short time to another facility for his bad behaviors. I just hope and pray that my boy, my beautiful son will be safe and can make it through his trials and tribulations. Love you my sweet sweet Boy!